He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
