i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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