No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
