No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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