just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
