Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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