hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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