kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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