and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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