Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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