they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
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I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
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i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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