so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
