So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
