I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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