allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
