Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
