what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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