Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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