i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Text me some of your sweat
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
