he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Text me some of your sweat
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
