the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Someone came in the potted fern
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
