yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
