Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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