the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
