You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
