How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
