I wish I only lived at night.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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