He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
