If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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