Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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