took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
