Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
