Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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