what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
