Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
