the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
