Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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