loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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