Non-Jews are for practice
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
