theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
