So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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