fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
