could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
