What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
