trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I AM VODKA MAN
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
