drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
