Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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