Tell her she can't have a vagina
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
