wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize