READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
