i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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