I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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