I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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