You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
