I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
