He is an equal opportunity slut.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
