i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
