either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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