She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
